


Wrecking Ball

by NicoleTheHardyLover



Category: Warrior (2011)
Genre: Explicit Sex, F/M, Fluff, Iraq War, MMA, Marines, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Sexual Tension, Slow Build, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-18
Updated: 2016-12-20
Packaged: 2018-08-31 18:56:36
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 11
Words: 17,993
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8589904
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NicoleTheHardyLover/pseuds/NicoleTheHardyLover
Summary: This story is set in the aftermath of the movie and Sparta. It introduces new characters whilst keeping the old, and focuses on Tommy's private life as he returns his name to Conlon and does what Conlon's do best....            *Self destruction* -taking all in their path down with them.Poster note. PTSD is an overwhelming factor in this soap opera story...





	1. Wrecking Ball

**Author's Note:**

> \- I came in like a wrecking ball  
> I never hit so hard in love  
> All I wanted was to break your walls  
> All you ever did was wreck me  
> Yeah, you, you wreck me-

Sounds of high pitched laughter filled the room as two excitable school girls jumped up and down in glee. 

"What's the commotion?" Tess asked, re entering the room knee deep in breakfast bowls. 

"Mommy look. Look what uncle Tommy did..." Rosie laughed as she pointed at her sister's hair.  
Tess glanced over at her older daughter and stifled her own giggle at the sight she saw.  
Tommy was armed with a hairbrush and a scrunchie and the aftermath was hairstyle carnage that even his brother Brendan wasn't capable of. 

"Wow, it looks lovely.. Emmy!" Tess lied as she plonked the cereal on the table and patted the seat signalling the girls to come over. 

"I tried!" Tommy piped up, shrugging his big shoulders and looking at Tess for approval of some sort. She smiled. His effort to get to know his nieces hadn't gone unnoticed.  
Since coming to live with Brendan, Tess and the girls a few months back, he had really aimed to improve on the dark, sulky moods and frightening ambience he had arrived with. There was no denying Tommy was troubled, but he hid it well most days, retreating to his room at the house when he found that he couldn't manage to.

A lot had happened since Sparta, the Mixed martial arts competition that led the brothers to a terrifying reunion showdown that caused more then Tommy's shoulder and resolve to break up. The estranged brothers had dealt with their demons regarding each other in the ring and left them there. Tommy had forgiven Brendan for not leaving with him and their mom as a kid, to run away from their fathers abuse, and the feelings of desertion that had caused were all but gone now. Like wise, Brendan could see that Tommy needed his help and the old wounds they both shared were healing day by day. Tommy and his father were a different story, but he was trying at least. Paddy was back in his life.

Winning 5 million dollars had set Brendan and his family up for a good future, enabling them to stop repossession of the family home and move to a bigger one back in Pittsburgh. It meant the entire family could be in one place and pick up the pieces of the rotten bridge that made up their relationships thus far. 

Brendan had of course offered Tommy half of the money, but stubborn as he was he had point blank refused for months on end until he had reluctantly agreed to accept one million for Pilar, the wife of his fallen comrade and brother in arms. 

After the fight, Tommy had been taken into immediate police custody under charges of desertion. He was tried the following week and ordered to complete a 15 month sentence in a correctional facility.  
Tommy needed the head space, inside he was able to reevaluate his past and try to put it to bed. He got counselling for his troubled thoughts about the war and his grief at the inhumane loss of his friends. They Diagnosed PTSD and gave him antidepressant pills.  
They tried to touch on his abusive childhood but it only made him shut down again, however the positives outweighed the negatives of prison life and he was able to go cold turkey from the liquor he had previously self medicated with after Iraq.  
He got good state funded physio treatment for his shoulder and his physical injuries from the fight healed quicker than his emotional ones ever would.

On his release he felt better than he had done in years and had taken a spare room at Brendan's until he could save enough cash for his own place, still too proud to accept charity from his brother's winnings.  
He had been offered a decent job at Colt Boyd's gym, taking up personal training and sparring programmes for a decent pay packet.  
His small time celebrity status was attracting more punters for Boyd after the media circus surrounding Sparta and the gym had been renovated as a result. He just had to get his own place, a motor, and off those damn pills and all would be as right as it could be in Tommy's world. 

"Bye uncle Tommy" came the sounds from the hallway as the girls left for school.  
Brendan entered the room, twirling his car keys, his brand new job at the local school beckoning. 

"You need a lift into work Tommy?" He asked his brother, who was shovelling scrambled eggs into his mouth at the table.

"Nah.. S'okay, I'mma walk down today B, gonna hit up that motor shop on the way there, see what's on offer." He droned between mouthfuls. 

"Look..Tommy, I know you don't want a hand out but at least let me get you a car so that you can concentrate on the apartment" Brendan pushed again. 

Tommy shook his head, taking a swig of his coffee.  
"I got my own money." He said. "I'm earning. Besides, that's for them girls" he said, pointing out of the window at the drive way.  
"I ain't takin that, we been through this." He grumbled, waving him off.  
"I'll be out of your way soon enough anyhow". 

Brendan sighed at his brother's stubbornness, giving in to it once again as he left him to his breakfast. 

 

****************************  
After a visit to the car salesman and a day of physical exertion at the gym, Tommy returned that evening in a beaten down pick up truck that looked oddly out of place on the posh paved drive way. 

As he used his key to let himself in he heard multiple voices as usual from the family room. The house was nothing if not lively, and the couple always had friends around from work or the close knit nosy neighbourhood. 

Tommy wasn't into socialising, so as he dumped his gym duffle in the entrance hall and removed his trainers, he planned on sticking his head round the door before making his excuses and spending the night in his room. He felt a little off today, the black moods overwhelming him sometimes, the need for a stiff drink at the end of a long day getting harder to stifle. 

Tommy entered the room, sweaty with the day's activity, his black hoodie pulled over his head. He was a beast of a man, not tall in stature but wide and well built, a typical fighter's physique. He pulled down his hood when he noticed the guest on the sofa. He recognised her vaguely, sat next to Tess she could've been her twin if not for the brunette hair and then he realised that she was in fact a relation. 

"Tommy" Brendan acknowledged as he sat with the paper, the family boxer dog cuddled up in a ball by his feet. The girls were absent but as Tommy returned most nights after seven it was usual for them to be tucked up in bed. 

"You remember Holly, right?, Tess' little sister.  
Tommy did but she wasn't so little anymore, then again neither was he. He nodded in acknowledgement letting his eyes wander back to her feminine face that was studying him shyly.

The Conlon's and Tess' family the Ramsay's had been neighbours back in the day. Brendan and Tess had been together since the age of about 14, meaning the families spent time together. Tommy remembered growing up with the girl in front of him, spending stolen hours at the local park with her and his friends, attempting to escape the strict fight schedule his father forced upon him and the chaos home life inflicted. The memory wasn't welcome. Growing up was a bad time that he hated to be reminded of unexpectedly.

He grunted in Brendan's direction as another way of acknowledgment, managing a hurried hello at Tess and her sister as he mumbled something about taking a shower and getting his head down. 

As he climbed the stairs he noticed a floral overnight bag at the top and realised it meant Holly was probably going to be staying for a few days. He wasn't sure how he felt about another woman in the house, he was already outnumbered as it was and he was socially awkward around women as a rule. Especially pretty ones like her.

Half an hour later he let the hot water wash over his aching muscles in cascades as his thoughts wondered to the little brunette that sat downstairs. He wasn't sure why he felt slightly excited, but his mood had definitely lifted and he welcomed the feeling.


	2. Lust&Lavender

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -We clawed, we chained our hearts in vain  
> We jumped never asking why  
> We kissed, I fell under your spell.  
> A love no one could deny-

The next morning Tommy got up at the break of dawn for a training session. He had a small time fight coming up in just over a week with a $2,000 prize fund and he needed all the cash he could get for an apartment this side of the city. As he padded down the stairs in his socks, his bag packed for the shower he would have to take at the gym so he didn't disturb the girls, he headed to the kitchen to make his protein shake. 

As he pushed the kitchen door open it creaked and he winced at the loud noise, closing it quietly behind him. He didn't notice anyone at first and she made him jump when she spoke from the shadows by the kitchen table. 

"Hey....Tommy." Holly said quietly. 

"You just scared the shit out of me" he laughed nervously as he averted his eyes away from her low cut pyjama top, glad of the dark as his cheeks reddened. 

"Now the Tommy I remember as a kid wasn't scared of anything!" She said sounding amused, as she sat atop the oak kitchen table her petite bare legs swinging playfully underneath it. 

He didn't remember much about her if he was honest, he knew she was slightly younger than he was and had been a bit of a quiet thing but he was always too pre occupied with his problems at that time to notice many details about others.

He cocked his head to the side to study her in the dim light. Her long layered hair was a tousled bed head style and she was drinking coffee. She looked radiant but he ignored her comment as he watched her take a swig from the large mug.

"What in the hell are you sat in the dark for anyhow?" He changed the subject, "ain't nobody but me normally see this time of day round here" he said with an amused smirk.

"Oh I don't know, I guess I Can't sleep" she replied. "A lot on my mind lately, plus it's a lot warmer in Philladelphia, I didn't pack the right night clothes" she shivered, patting down the lavender silk material of her top against her flat stomach with one hand. 

He watched her do it, flicking his eyes back upwards to hers quickly before he tore his gaze away from her own and turned to the fridge to open it, a sense of awkwardness surrounding them.  
She seemed to stare into his eyes with a sad intensity he couldn't place and it made him nervous. Tommy didn't get nervous, it didn't sit well. 

"I ain't a big sleeper either." He offered, I guess it's overrated right?" He smiled at her, and she liked his eyes crinkling at the sides as he turned back around and poured his almond milk, adding in the scoops of whey powder. 

The ceiling lights flicked on suddenly, illuminating the objects in front of him and he turned to see the back of her figure bending down to put her mug inside the dishwasher.  
His gaze wandered up the back of her thighs to the top where he could see the nice curve of small ass cheeks beneath her silk night shorts. 

Shit was he attracted to her? ... He shook his protein shake and added it to his bag on the worktop, promptly zipping it back up.  
Nah he didn't do lusting. Girls had thrown themselves at him after Sparta and prison and he barely bothered to notice them. Women were a complication he didn't need when he already had enough problems. 

In fact Tommy had barely ever had a relationship with women past the one act of sex as self indulgence. He had no problem being civil with them, or charming them into bed for a physical release, but he didn't really know how to act around them on a more serious level since his whole life had revolved around his sport and his time in the marines.

She caught him ogling her when she turned back around, but she didn't let on because she kind of liked it. He was physically very pleasing to the eye, and after the whole mystery shrouding him at Sparta she was more than a little intrigued by him. She always liked him as a kid, but he was even broodier back then, and always absent from school so she never got to know much about him other than what Tess told her. When she was 12 and he was 15, he upped and left with his mom and she never heard anything of him again until Sparta.

He smiled at her once more as he said his goodbyes, throwing his bag over his big shoulder and heading out to his new truck.  
He didn't get in it though, opting to walking the short distance to the gym in hope of clearing his head which felt a little jumbled after the early morning interaction with Holly. He wasn't even sure why. 

As he walked, the crisp September morning surrounded him, letting his mind wander as he focused on where his feet were heading. He got to thinking about his lack of intimacy with the finer sex and why he had never allowed himself to develop any. 

It was a conscious decision. Women had tried to get him to give them more but when they did he discarded them before even contemplating it. They were lucky if he even called on them for a second occasion.  
He was 31 now and had never had a meaningful relationship. He hadn't bothered thinking about why this was before now, but living with Brendan and Tess and watching their family life being one he had always wanted for himself as a kid, he got to wondering as he walked past family homes on either side of him. 

As a teen he spent all his time training for matches, or picking up the pieces of his mother's injuries and smashed up apartment after one of paddy's rampages. 

When he had finally got out of all that and run away with his mom, they never really stayed in one place long enough to develop any sort of relationships with anyone. Friend or foe.  
He had one almost girlfriend at 17, the landlords daughter who lived in the same block of dive flats they had to endure the squalor of. They always lived in a shit box with no heat, and Tommy would constantly train in his bedroom just to work up a sweat that would keep him warm for half an hour at a time.  
Lacey Jenkins had been the only person around his age in the block which made them gravitate towards each other and hang out at his place after school. She liked the same music and they would beat box to gangsta rap like she was one of the lads back in the 'burgh.  
He remembered it took him by surprise when she kissed him as he didn't even find her that attractive to look at, she was just company that wasn't his mom. After their fumble in the dark, where she took the lead and rode him into losing self control, he decided he didn't like the intimacy even if he enjoyed the physical release, and anyhow his mom missed on the rent and they did a moonlight flit the week after it happened, meaning he didn't have to even see her again.

His next experience with women was the good practice of many a one night stand on weekend leave from the corps. By then he liked to drink liquor to blot out his upbringing and being around masculine men who weren't used to being deprived of women and went mad to make up for it when they got the chance, meant he followed suit to fit in.

Drinking in bars with his off duty comrades usually meant his entire leave was taken up with easy bottle blondes, enough liquor to sink a war ship and twice as much carnal fucking but he never let it lead to true intimacy. He didn't want that part - avoided it at all costs.

Most of his recent sexual relations since Sparta involved his right hand and a trusty sock. Like he admitted before, women were a complication he could do without. 

Anyhow, that didn't mean he couldnt appreciate ladies lavender pyjamas every now and again, did it?


	3. Fluffy Sheep&Nights with no sleep

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- I met you in the dark, you lit me up. You made me feel as though, I was enough. -

A week later, Tommy couldn't remember what it was like before Holly arrived at the house. Her presence was soothing, she brought a welcome laughter around with her personality and he realised he liked to look at her just as much in her t-shirt and tight jeans as the silk nightwear she liked to wear around the place.  
He hated to admit it to himself but he didn't want her to go back to Philli.

They had spent a few times over the past week staying up pretty much all night, talking and watching gameshows after Brendan and Tess had gone to bed. 

He found out that she liked to talk. A lot. Which was good because he didn't and she filled the brooding silences he was used to in his usual interactions.  
She told him all about her career as a nurse, and how she was on annual leave from her job while she picked up the pieces of a bad relationship. She told him it was the reason she was here at all, to get some head space from the very recent collapse of it.  
He didn't pry, but she kept offering information willingly and he was happy to listen, other people's problems always seemed easier to deal with than the ton in his own head. 

Holly talked into the early hours more than once, fighting off sleep whilst drinking red wine and telling him about this Matthew dude who had recently cheated on her with one of her friends. She sounded pretty messed up about it and he felt a wave of anger towards this jerk, thinking he deserved a face pounding but not sure why he felt obliged to do it himself.

She was interested in him too, asking him questions about the famous Sparta that she saw on TV, about his training regime and his boring diet. Strangely he felt like she cared about his answers too, like she wasn't just asking him to fill conversation void, but was genuinely interested in what he had to say, making it easier to talk to her about himself as the nights passed by, even going so far as to discuss the corps, touching on the loss of his unit, whilst avoiding the subject of Manny, all the same. He couldn't talk about that as easily.

One night at the weekend, she offered him a drink like she already had on occasion even though he had always refused. This time he took a beer from her with apprehension, knowing he shouldn't be drinking due to his medication dosage and his intolerance to stopping once he had started. He hadn't had a drink since leaving prison and he felt guilty before he pushed it to the back of his mind, allowing himself the opportunity to let loose. She made him feel normal, and a beer with a movie was normal right? 

As the rom-com broadcast on the TV, they drown the sound of it out with their flow of conversation yet again.  
It was after midnight, Brendan and Tess had retired an hour earlier after they had all shared a take out and Tommy was relaxed in his sweats, sprawled out with his feet up on the sofa.  
Holly was sat on the opposite one wearing a silk strappy nightgown, a peach one he couldn't help but notice showed her pointed nipples through the fabric. She had teamed it with Tess' borrowed fluffy pyjama bottoms with little sheep character heads and he realised from this that she wasn't openly trying to be seductive. He smiled at the thought as the conversation paused. 

"What's amusing you, Conlon?" She joked noticing his grin. 

"You want me to be honest?" He said taking a swig of his beer. 

"Always" she nodded. 

"It's those fuckin sheep trousers you gots on, I can't take my eyes off them" he snorted, openly mocking her.  
She liked his playful side as much as his brooding one, and though he wasn't one for talking she was happy he was becoming more comfortable to take the piss out of her. 

"Baaah" she mocked at him, getting up to mini punch him on his bicep. 

She had had 3 glasses of wine at this point, and since Tess had money now she didn't scrimp on the expensive wine with the high percentages. If the stagger on her walk over didn't give away that she was wasted, what she did next definitely did. 

"Why don't you ask me to take them off then?" She asked boldly, her fingertips in the waistband as she stood over him.  
He nearly choked on his beer as his heart raced out of his chest. He looked up at her to gauge wether she was being sarcastic but her deadpan face told him she wasn't. Her glazed over eyes also told him that she was intoxicated and that was the only reason she was saying this. He had to be responsible even though it went against every nerve tingling with sensation in his body at her suggestion. He wasn't used to feeling this turned on without anyone having touched him. 

"Ummm...." He stuttered

He pulled a cushion onto his lap to cover up his growing erection and sat upright to watch cautiously as she slowly slid the fluffy pants down the length of her bronzed legs and stepped out of them, not taking her eyes off of his face, letting them wander to his full lips as she licked against her own. 

He wanted to tell her to stop, no... He didn't want to but he knew that he should, as she came and perched beside him on the edge of the sofa.  
He realised he probably looked slightly dumb, mouth gaping open at the girl in front of him who had shed part of her clothing for him suggestively. He willed himself to stay in control.

As she leant in and planted a wet kiss on his lips his cock grew rock hard under the cushion and he sunk into the kiss, allowing her to grab his face and mould her mouth against his sloppily. He kept thinking that he shouldn't take advantage, she was obviously wasted, but he was a red bloodied male after all was said and done and he kissed her back willingly, enjoying the way she made him feel. 

He had rarely spent time kissing. Feeling it was too intimate he had mostly avoided it completely, but with Holly he wasn't even thinking about where it would lead. All he knew was he liked the warm feel of her tongue as it swirled around his own and her tiny hands ruffling his shaggy hair behind his ears. It was enough for him, and as her fingertips left his temples and started wondering down the material of his grey t-shirt, moving from his chest and lingering on his tight stomach, he reached down for them and pulled them back up to wrap around his neck. He wasn't gonna let it go any further than kissing her, and that's what he intended to do all night.

After an hour or so of no words spoken, just slow kissing and licking at each others mouths, as well as the occasional soft petting and groping of intimate areas over material, Tommy snapped back into self control mode before it could go any further. He would never be able to live it down if he drunk fucked Tess' little sister on the sofa. He would have to avoid family occasions forever and he was growing to like them lately.  
He stroked her hair from her face and pulled her into him, letting her eyelids droop with her tipsy exhaustion. He watched her as she fell asleep, feeling confused by his own intimate actions that seemed to come natural with this girl, heaven only knew why.

Once she was asleep, gently breathing hot air into the crook of his neck, his usual panic set in.  
He lifted her off of him, causing her to stir and curl up in a ball on the sofa he had swiftly vacated. 

'Fuck' He thought, he couldn't leave her on the sofa all night. 

Tommy was careful not to wake her as he gently tucked each one of his muscular arms under her knees and neck, and lifted her like a sleeping child. She weighed absolutely nothing and he manoeuvred her with ease from the room, carrying her upstairs to her temporary bedroom next to his own, inhaling waves of her floral perfume as they went.

He laid her on top of the covers and put the blanket throw over her petite body, shutting the window on his way out. He watched her for a couple of minutes from the door he left ajar, not sure what the feeling was that he had, a warm fuzzy one in the pit of his stomach, at the same time inducing shivery goosebumps over his muscular body. 

He laid in bed without a wink of sleep that night. Thoughts of letting her exposed legs wrap around him while her mouth kissed his jawline enveloped him, drowning out the usual dark thoughts that crept up when his head hit the pillow. He wasn't used to this warm feeling he had had all week since he had met her, and his frozen heart wasn't entirely sure that he should let it in.


	4. Clouds&Rainbows

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -Don't you ever say I just walked away  
> I will always want you  
> I can't live a lie, running for my life  
> I will always want you-

The next morning Holly woke up with a bad head. She instantly remembered the expensive wine and the chick flick on the TV.  
Then the other part flashed into her mind. Oh why did she have to remember that part -The sheep pyjamas, Come to think of it where were they? She thought, feeling her bare legs beneath the sheets. She squinted at her surroundings in the early morning sun, realising he must've put her to bed last night. She groaned out loud, How embarrassing. 

She wondered for a few somber moments why she had thrown herself at him like that. She wasn't the type to initiate even a date let alone a groping session. Her thoughts flitted to the feel of his hot breath on her neck when he had kissed her there, and she felt her vaginal muscles clenching beneath the covers. Her cheeks flushed. She had wanted him so bad but he had been so restrained. She frowned at the recollection.  
Then her mind pondered on Matthew. She couldn't remember him turning her on in that way so easily. He had pursued her relentlessly until he grew on her and they fell into a mediocre relationship. His subtle but sly comments about how she would just look prettier if she wore classier clothing, did her hair differently, wore less make-up, - built up slowly, until she barely did anything without his say so in the end, a shell of her former self.  
Then there were the other women, the ones he expected her to let slide when he came home reeking of their perfume, and trying to seduce her like she wasn't his second of the night.  
When he had got the filthy text message two weeks ago from a girl who had befriended her from his work, one that she had spent social time with, they got into a huge fight that led to him pinning her against the wall by her throat. She had upped and left him right there in their apartment, begging for forgiveness at what "she had made him do", in search of solace in Pittsburgh with her big sister Tess. 

She didn't expect to find Tommy there, the guy she wanted so bad it hurt during high school. Her first teenage crush she couldn't help but compare every early date she went on to, never allowing them to match up. She had cried into her pillow for weeks when he had left, never expecting to see him again. Which was silly, because he had never noticed her anyway.

She scolded herself for giving into her school girl desires last night but spending time with him had sent her head into a tail spin. She was an adult now, with an already complicated love life, seducing a man who had probably no interest in her besides the colour of her panties and how quickly she would drop them.  
Even as she developed that train of thought she knew it was a lie. Tommy wasn't like that, it was obvious. She had near enough jumped the guy last night and all he had done was kiss her back hesitantly, and rub at her nipple through some material. Then tucked her into her bed alone. She groaned inwardly as she realised he had just humoured her in the heat of the moment, and wondered how she could look him in the eye this morning, or ever again for that matter. She decided she wouldn't for now. She needed to get back to Philli and sort out the mess she had left behind. 

Creeping tentatively into the dining room an hour later, washed and changed for travel, she scanned the room for any sign of him and sighed with relief at his absence. 

The flat screen on the wall played some tom and Jerry whilst the girls tucked into cinnamon waffles and fruit smoothies. Tess was packing bags for their dance class. 

"Morning" Holly said, behind her.

"Oh hey! ... Morning sleepy head. Looks like someone had a little much to drink last night!" Tess scolded playfully, reminding her of their mom doing the same thing, even down to the mock stern look on her face. 

"Auntie Holly... Are you coming to ballet with us? I can show you my Demi-Plié.." Emily questioned hopefully with a mouth full of syrup. 

"Aw sorry baby, I can't. Auntie holly has to go home today, my train is setting off in an hour." She winced at the look of disappointment on her nieces face.  
"I tell you what though, why don't I make a pinky swear that I come back up real soon and I go with you to take a look at your awesome moves?" 

"I thought you were leaving tomorrow, Change of plan?" Tess asked her. 

"Um, yeah. Yeah work paged me about going in for some paperwork tomorrow" she lied. "I wanna get back early and get organised" 

She picked up her bag and kissed the girls goodbye promising them she would be back as soon as her work schedule would allow. 

"Where's Brendan and Tommy? I should say goodbye before I head out" she asked innocently, kissing her sister on the cheek. "Thank you for letting me stay"  
Tess waved off her gratitude. "Pshh, my casa su casa, you know that!" she laughed.  
Brendan is in the family room- he barely moves his lazy ass on weekends- but he's gonna take you to the station. And Tommy... I don't think he's in. He hits the gym every morning, and he sometimes has classes there through the day." 

Half an hour later, Waving goodbye to Brendan as he dropped her at the train station her stomach still felt heavy. She was gutted that she hadn't got to say goodbye to Tommy before she left. Regardless of what happened last night they had spent the last week making each other's day brighter and she was sad to leave him at all. She realised it was probably for the best, he would most likely feel awkward around her after her actions as it was obvious he didn't really see her in that way, but she wished she could've maybe explained to him that she was just tipsy and feeling low after what Mathew did. The real reason was that she was massively attracted to him and had been since 12 years old but she would never have told him that part. He obviously liked her in a platonic way and it had just gone too far.

She was snapped back to reality by the speaker on the platform announcing boarding of her train and ten minutes later she was seated, stressed and on her way back to Philadelphia and Matthew. 

************************************

-Smaccckk- the sound was deafening as his back hit the mat under the weight of his opponent.  
Tommy blinked at the small victory his trainee had stolen from him and in a blink of an eye, spun around and had him in a backwards hold, bending his arms to defeat. The boy tapped out. 

"Conlon! You seem distracted!" Boyd called from his spot behind the main desk as Tommy shook the young lads hand at the end of his session. 

"I ain't ever see anyone get choo on your back since you walked in this damn place years ago! What the fucks up with that?" 

Tommy smiled knowingly. He'd had a spring in his step since last night on the sofa and had been thinking about asking Holly out on a proper date when he got home tonight. 

"Whoa whoa whoa!!!! Now what's her name?" Boyd carried on.  
"Ain't nobody put a smile on your face either in all of that time. She must be special" 

Tommy grinned again as he ignored boyds suggestions and went back to the locker room to get his shit together. She was definitely special, no one had made him look twice his entire life. He reckoned she had come along at just the right time or somethin' thats all it was. A time when things were settling and he could give someone attention.

He hummed a song when he was in his truck backing out of the parking lot. He was looking forward to the stolen glances over the dinner table they had been sharing that made his chest flutter, even more so now that they had made out. He thought what it would be like to call her his girl, to look after her and make her dinner in their own apartment, alone properly for once, free to touch and kiss the way he supposed couples did. 

He was getting ahead of himself but he was basking in the novelty of feeling excited about somebody. Whatever dark cloud had been following him around, she seemed to have turned it into a rainbow in one short week.


	5. Self Medication

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -I put you high up in the sky  
> And now, you're not coming down  
> It slowly turned, you let me burn  
> And now, we're ashes on the ground-

After another shower at the gym Tommy drove home with all sorts of situations on his mind. When he got out of the truck he felt a foil packet scrape his fingertips in the pocket of his hoodie as he walked and he bit down hard on his lip. Tommy's pill problem had taken a backseat in the last week or so. After being distracted with training for the fight coming up Monday evening, and all the time he had been spending with Holly watching films and listening to her talk for hours on end, he hadn't had so much of a problem shutting off his mind to sleep. The calmness being around her induced made the need for self medication unnecessary.  
The packet in his pocket contained an unprescribed amount of Valium. He didn't get it from no doctors surgery or pharmacist and if anyone knew about his little habit he could be in a lot of trouble, especially now he was back competing. The small time fights didn't usually drugs test but there were a few in the pipeline that could earn him serious dollar easily and he was aware he couldn't have the best of both worlds. 

He needed to get back on the straight and narrow, he was sick of using aids for a peaceful mindset. 

The drink, the drugs, the pills. Why couldn't he just be normal? Why couldn't he just blot out flashbacks, stop at one drink and get to sleep of a night?  
Well he felt normal when he was around Holly, and he wondered briefly if maybe she was the key to being normal, he just hoped she felt the same way and he was about to go and find out. 

*********************************************

Tommy slammed his bags down on the welcome mat and shut the door behind him. The house was eerily quiet which was strange for a weekend and then he remembered the girls had dance class which meant the house was peaceful if only for a few hours.  
He wandered into the family room and smirked at Brendan, in his usual spot sprawled out on the sofa, drooling. One of his legs was hanging off the end and Sam the dog who was resting his head upon it, spun himself around when he entered the room.  
Brendan was a lazy git these days, Tommy thought as he patted the dog on his head and left Brendan to his afternoon snooze. 

After grabbing a diet Pepsi from the fridge and stealing a handful of candy he really shouldn't be eating from the bowl on the worktop, he carried his bag up the stairs. His mind flitted to the full day of training and the sports massage he had to fit in tomorrow ahead of the big night, and he really needed to do some research on his opponents in preparation.  
He noticed Holly's door was ajar and stuck his head around it hoping she was in there. She wasn't and he realised the bed was stripped and her belongings were gone since last night when he put her into bed. He thought it was strange as she wasn't due to leave until tomorrow and still had one night to stay in there. He was hoping she would let him take her on a date tonight before she left so that he could say goodbye properly and talk to her about what he felt. Talking about feelings wasn't Tommy's forte but he figured he had nothing to lose and she made it so easy he felt like nothing really mattered except getting it all out on the table.

After towel drying his hair and crashing on his bed to do some laptop stalking on his opponents for a while he heard the girls returning in a tornado of squeals, songs and banging. He smiled at the thought of them. Family... It was a nice feeling for once. Closing his laptop, he trudged downstairs to greet them, hoping Holly would be there aswell. 

Tess was unpacking groceries in the kitchen as he walked past and the girls were jumping on a rudely awoken Brendan whilst the dog attempted to join in. 

"Daddy daddy daddy. Get up daddy it's not night time silly" squealed Rosie.  
Brendan stretched noisily and then hoisted her off his stomach into a lift whilst spinning her around and mock biting her arms, turning to face Tommy. 

"Hey... How's the training coming on? You pumped and ready?" He asked placing Rosie down despite her whiny objections. 

"Yeah man, you know me" Tommy nodded.  
"You seen Holly around?" He asked, trying not to give away the fact he had even noticed her missing, he didn't welcome another ribbing like Boyd had dished out.

"Oh she's gone already. Back to philli, I think her boyfriend called. Or work or something."  
Tommy's heart sunk.  
"I thought she left tomorrow?" He stuttered as the girls ran into the kitchen to see what was for dinner.

"Yeah, She had to go back early, she was in a rush to be honest, I dropped her at the station hours ago" Brendan searched Tommy's face suspiciously 

"It ain't like you to ask... Did anything happen between you two? I know you were spending a lot of time together..." He quizzed. 

"Nah, God no, nothin at all" Tommy lied, shrugging. "I was just curious." Brendan nodded, disbelief creeping up on his face. 

"Well I'm starving, you wanna come get something to eat?"

"Nah" Tommy replied sulkily, his hands reaching into his hoodie pocket and feeling the packet again.  
"Nah I'm good." And he left to go back up to his room. 

Flinging himself onto his bed on his back he ripped the hoodie from himself and removed the packet of pills placing them next to the ones given to him by the shrink. Fluexatine was an anti depressant meant to lift his mood and calm his busy mind. The Valium he picked up on a downtown street corner of inner city 'burgh, worked better, but he doubted even that would calm him now. 

Finding out Holly had up and left, gutted him. He had been stupid enough to allow himself to think she was interested. She had made him feel like that since he first saw her on the sofa the night she arrived, undressing him with her eyes like women often did. He was used to those looks and he knew she was into him physically, her flirting over the next week confirmed it. Late night banter and sitting close by on the sofa watching movies he would never watch for anyone else, subtle arm brushes and accidental finger clashing whilst sharing the popcorn tub, did he just imagine the whole damn lot? 

He was stung and but-hurt and he let out a long sigh. He knew he hadn't imagined it, because last night she was the one removing her own clothes and sitting on his lap. She was the one forcing kisses on him and fondling at the waistband of his joggers trying her best to get at his cock, while he had been the one moving them away, back up to his face so she didn't do something hasty she regretted once sober. 

He had been the perfect gentleman even when he had wanted to violate the shit out of her and that pissed him off now. He should've just fucked her, at least then he would've gotten something out of the whole thing.  
He felt instantly guilty for thinking that, and his fingers pinching he bridge of his nose against the emerging headache, his thoughts drifted back to how nice she was and how she was so easy to talk to and willing to listen. 

He didn't really regret being a gentleman, but what he did regret is letting her get inside his head.  
He wished he hadn't told her about his PTSD and the story of his unit, even skirting around the Manny subject when that was the hardest thing for him to deal with in the world.

Pondering this he reached for his pill jars and tapped out his prescribed doseage, realising that he didn't have any water around to take them with. He reached down under his bed and pulled out the bottle of Pepsi containing clear fluid- Russian vodka, the strong stuff. He knocked the medication back with a large swig of it, feeling the familiar burn and not even wincing. Then he popped 3 of the tiny pills that were commonly used in smaller doses to treat anxiety disorders, alcohol withdrawals and muscular spasms- all of which Tommy had ten fold, but which weren't meant to be mixed with other drugs, not to mention alcohol. His head felt foggy within ten minutes as his temples pounded and pushed him into a disturbed slumber his mind clouding in black as he slipped under.

Well if this is what letting your guard down with women felt like then he wanted no part in it. The pills were all he needed to forget....


	6. Fight Night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -It ain't the knife  
> It's the way that you use it  
> How you abuse it in fights  
> It ain't about the life  
> You feel you were given  
> As long as you're living it right-

"Tommy....Tom. For fucksake.... TOMMY!!"   
He rose to the sound of Brendan echoing in his head and the feel of being moved but he wasn't able to open his eyes easily.

"What the fuck you doing man, what's all this shit?" .. Brendan said, enraged, grabbing at the pill bottles.

Tommy swallowed down bile in his throat as he finally managed to raise his lids, squinting up at Brendan above him. He groaned at the look of disapproval on his face, he didn't want it and he didn't need it right now.

"S'matter wit choo man? Get outta here, You ain't my pop!" He said, shoving him away and trying his best to sit up, his limbs groggy and paralysed.

"No but it looks like YOURE turning into him" Brendan replied venomously and the remark cut deep. He didn't want to be compared to his father. It shocked him to his senses with an intended rise of nausea, as he hurled himself up and ran past his brother to the bathroom to spew into the basin.   
Brendan followed him cautiously as he vomited his stomach lining whilst gripping the porcelain with scabbed knuckles. Fighters knuckles. Brendan couldn't watch him do this to himself easily, but there was only so many times you could try to help someone, Tommy had to want to do it for himself. He had put him through rehab, dropped him at many a counselling session and banned all booze from the house at one point. But a drunk is gonna drink, unless he wants to put it to bed himself.

"The fights tomorrow. You need to get yourself together." Brendan chastised, edging away from the door frame to head downstairs.   
"And Tommy.." He said louder now, over the sounds of his wretching..  
"You're gonna have to leave this house if i find you drinking again... My girls don't need a drunk at home, you of all people got to understand that." 

*********************************

The crowd were roaring outside the dressing room. Paddy told him that there were about 300 spectators out there, not to mention the local radio show.   
The old man kept leaving the dressing room briefly, unwittingly revealing the bustle outside and Tommy wished he would just keep that damn door closed.  
He tried fruitlessly to drown out the noise as his trainer Frank Campana barked instruction after instruction into his ear. All he could think about was her, he just couldn't let it go that she had thrown herself at him and then disappeared without a word after he thought they were building something. Even if it was a friendship she surely owed him a goodbye, and then he realised she was probably mortified that she had tried it on with him when she didn't like him in that way. Maybe she was just embarrassed by her drunk outburst and didn't want to give him any more false hope.... The insecure thoughts that his head were straying to yet again, were interrupted by Brendan and Tess entering the room. 

"Hey champ....how you feeling?" Brendan asked. "You should have this down, I've been checking out the other guy's rap sheets, he ain't shit on you Tommy, don't have half of the experience you do"

Tommy nodded without raising his eyes. Frank came over to help him wrap his knuckles as he attempted to drown out the crowd noise with his ear buds.

Tess could see he wasn't himself, she knew he had to be struggling with something after being so upbeat lately. Brendan had told her in a rage about the booze incident but she had been more sad for him than angry. When Frank had finished and moved away, she signalled for him to remove his plugs and plonked herself next to him whilst Brendan, Frank and Paddy talked opponents in the corner.

"Tommy, you ok?" She asked, genuine concern written all over her face.   
He gave her a fake smile but his eyes didn't crinkle at the sides.   
"Sure I am." He answered, not expanding with any explanation for his dark mood of late. Like a snail retreating into his shell, he didn't feel like talking again. He just wanted to be alone but at the same time to be distracted from his thoughts. His mind wandered to the vodka still under his bed at his brother's house. 

"Holly's been asking about you" Tess offered and Tommy's head shot up to search her face. The reaction wasn't lost on her and she screwed up her nose at him.  
"Did you two.... You'Know..." She couldn't finish but her insinuation was obvious.   
"Why did she say anything?" Tommy asked her.   
"Not much. She's back with her jerk off boyfriend you know. I told her he hurts her again he'll have the Conlon boys after him, and then she asked if you were ok and if you'd asked about her. I mean I told her you haven't." She said, again waiting for him to expand on something. 

"Back with her boyfriend huh?" Was all that Tommy could manage, his knuckles flexing and his nostrils flaring, he swallowed down a lump in his throat before standing and rolling his shoulders.   
"I erm... I need a minute if everyone could just go on ahead." He said, loudly, his tone dark to match the fight hoodie he was encased in. The silver waistband of his shorts glistening in the locker room light as he jumped from toe to toe, psyching himself up for the battle. 

When the door had closed behind them, Tommy's fist closed down hard on the metal of the locker next to him. "Gmmmph" he let out as the blood trickled through, staining his wraps crimson.

*********************************

If the fight was a pop quiz, Tommy would've won with a grade A.   
His opponent hadn't stood a chance from the very first duck, dive and deliver. His nimble footwork and brutal force was earning Tommy more and more success and recognition, as if Sparta hadn't already sealed the deal.   
He was ashamed to admit that he had channelled his anger about Holly and Matthew into pummelling his opponent in the ring, and even after the whistle sounded he continued to lay into his head, having to be dragged off and warned of disqualification. When the man tapped out he carried on his chokehold, again being physically removed from his opponent before he stopped him breathing. His venom was uncalled for, but he spat it out anyway.   
Taking home the $2,000 prize fund was bittersweet for him. He could finally take the plunge and get an apartment of his own, and get away from the family life that was taunting him as a reminder of what he lacked. 

As everyone but Paddy headed to the bar after the fight, Tommy tried to make excuses of exhaustion in order to head out and sink some pills and sleep.   
Brendan and Frank reminded him that he had contacts to be made, that could score him more fights and more dollars so he reluctantly followed them after stretching, first aid and showering away his victory. 

Sitting on a stool at the bar he ordered a cherry coke, the music felt too loud around him but he was thankful that it made conversation with the others minimal. Frank was talking to an agent and some fellow trainers down the bar, and Tess and Brendan had wandered off for a little shake around on the dance floor.   
Tommy run his finger around the glass rim of the tumbler and then called for the bar man to top him up. 

"Add a double Jameson in that, man" he said, looking around him shiftily. 

He hadn't noticed the blonde girls at the side of him, but it was forced upon him when the one closest to him lent over the bar and paid the tender Tommy's bill.

"Let me get that for you" she said, fluttering her lashes that Tommy thought held far too much of that black shit women loved to apply. Holly didn't wear any of that, she was naturally pretty.

"Nah, I'm good." Tommy said, chewing on the toothpick between his lips.

"You'll offend me?" She said in a nagging tone, moving closer to him. 

Tommy shuffled uncomfortably on his stool but pocketed the dollar bills he had been clinging to all the same. He studied the girl in front of him, she was pretty too in a more playboy bunny sort of way, fake tits on display and a mini skirt leaving little to his imagination.   
As he looked her over she arched her back over the bar, raising her ass.   
Tommy took his stare off her figure for a second to return it to her face. If he needed a release then maybe she was it for tonight.

"Wanna get out of here?" He drawled, leaning over to her and resting his swollen hand on her lower back.   
"Yeah, you bet, I have a room." She replied, turning to wink at the girl she had come with.   
Tommy didn't stop to say goodbye to his family, he let the girl take his hand and massage his knuckles as she walked him towards the exit. He had one thing on his mind.   
Fucking Holly out of his system.


	7. Happiness Hurts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -When the wind is blowing in your face. And the whole world is on your case. I can offer you a warm embrace. To make you feel my love..-

Tommy flexed his bruised knuckles and tightened his grip on the marble sink in the hotel room.   
Raising his head to look up at his reflection he didn't for one minute like what he saw. He saw his father.   
A drunk. A deadbeat. A failure. 

He had achieved nothing his life over except being an expert at running away. At fighting. At drowning out the white noise in his head with the roars of wartime gunfire vs the roars of a blood thirsty fight crowd.   
He felt calm in the ring because his rage could radiate, it was an outlet. It could flush out of him like a poisonous waterfall so that he had ten minutes respite from drowning in his hate. He was always drowning.   
Tommy splashed icy water on his face and towel dried it, reaching into his pocket and retrieving the pills he knew he shouldn't take. He took more than he normally did anyway. 

On returning to the bedroom he found the faceless blonde sprawled out in black lacy negligee across the white sheets, waiting for him.  
He lifted his grey t-shirt above his head, ruffling his hair and exposing his tattoo littered chest with bulging biceps to the lusting female beneath him, he couldn't be bothered at this point to make any type of conversation or charm her in any way. He needed sex and that's why they were both here. Conversation was pointless. 

She reached up, shifting position onto her knees and fumbled with the belt buckle on his black jeans. He let her take control of him, his arms hanging limp at his sides, his head lolling back, he rolled it in circles as she pulled down his boxer briefs and took his thick warm dick into her waiting mouth without hesitation. He groaned at the feeling.

She pulled on it, her slippery seal encasing the shaft, feeling the weight of it grow heavier on her tongue the harder it became.Tommy kept silent..he had urges to hold onto her blonde hair in a vice grip and fuck her mouth the way he needed to, but he kept still and let her do the business while letting his mind wander. 

Little sheep heads clouded his vision, pyjama pants pooled on the floor, and Holly's slender legs sitting in his lap. He felt her under him, remembering the care he took not to let his whole weight crush down on her, his dick outline pressed into the place between her thighs. He recalled putting his fingers into the waistband of her silk panties, toying with the lace trim, and running his nails upwards underneath the silk of her nightdress to her handful of breast. She had gasped at the feel of his fingers on her nipple and his cock had twitched against her, all the while her tongue circling his, the taste of her making his head fuzzy and the sound of blood thud in his ears as he had intimately tucked her hair behind her ear as he kissed her.

He wanted her so bad it physically hurt right now more than a good left hook did in the ring. Her indifference to him was only a driving force making him want her so much more than he should. His addictive personality explained his physical ache for her. Addicts always want more. 

Dragged back into the moment, Tommy came hard without warning, his release spurting down the girls throat, whilst guttural sounds escaped his own and his ass cheeks clenched into the thrusts he kept on giving her mouth, emptying his need for Holly down the throat of a stranger. Only, when he had finished, the need was still there. 

 

*****************************************

Holly could barely keep her eyes open by 2:00pm, four hours into her twelve hour shift at the hospital.   
She was dispensing medicines in palliative care and she really should've been paying more attention.   
However, Her head felt like it had the Tasmanian devil inside it, a tornado shit storm of emotions whizzing round and round. That or woody woodpecker, tapping over and over and over, grating on her inner psyche. That nagging feeling in the back of her mind. She should really ring Tommy and explain her hasty exit from the 'burgh but as more time passed it created a distance between them making it more inappropriate to warrant it. She doubted he was even bothered by the whole episode at all, whilst she couldn't stop thinking about it. 

She figured she would just ring Tess again tonight instead and ask about him. He should have had his fight by now and she really hoped he had followed through with his confidence of the win and got the money he needed to move out.   
As she sat with the little old lady on ward three, helping her change her night gown and sort through her magazine stack for one she hadn't read, the woman picked up on her sombre mood. 

"S'matter young one?" The lady asked her.   
"Pretty girl like you should smile more. It's depressing enough up in here already without you lot having no hope. Surely it ain't that bad?"   
Holly felt guilty instantly at the woman's remark, her own problems not a patch on the people of this ward, who's positive attitudes proved to her regularly how much resilience the human race was really capable of. 

"Just Man trouble" Holly explained "nothing that won't come out in the wash" she said, smiling now. 

"Well if he ain't making you happy then you need to pull the plug on him. Life's too short for anything but happiness ma'am!" The woman reasoned before shutting her eyes peacefully.

Holly pondered on that thought, her mind wandering straight to Matthew. She had rushed home and straight back into his arms, scared of the intensity of her feelings for Tommy. 

Matthew wasn't what she wanted, that was obvious to her now. Making love with him after her return had been like a blank canvas of emotions, a boring white wall compared to the fluorescent graffiti Tommy had sprayed all over her heart. She wanted Tommy, he was the one who made her truly happy. And she knew she could make him happy too if he would just let somebody in and stop holding back. Tess had told her he ain't ever been known to have a girlfriend, but then again there were gaps in his life no one in the family could fill in. What did anyone even know about Tommy Conlon? All she knew is he started off frosty, a tortoise covered in a hard impenetrable shell, and just lending an ear had enabled him to talk and open up to her a little, and she saw the change in him over those few short days. She smiled at the thought of him, reminiscing to being awkwardly sat side by side, the electricity between them had been astounding, right down to the finger brushes in the popcorn.   
She was wasting time with Matthew, and she made a decision right then and there to make a change. 

********************************

Three weeks later, Holly sat in her supervisors office filling out a form. She was applying for a transfer to a Pittsburgh hospital, having already been in touch with Tess to see if she could stay with her and Brendan whilst she did an apartment hunt.   
Tess had told her that Tommy had moved out into his own place so there was a room going spare at the house.   
This weekend she had been invited up for a party at theirs to reveal some kind of surprise and she could put all the plans in motion for finding somewhere of her own out there. 

Matthew was all but gone. That day that her clarity found her she had gone home and told him she was leaving, and he had put up a bit of a fight, guilt tripping her into feeling sorry for him but she knew she couldn't live her life that way. No, she was ready for a fresh start, to move closer to her sister and nieces, start a new job and live in a new area. If she was closer to Tommy then that was just an added gift she couldn't wait to unwrap.


	8. Baby Love, My Baby Love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -I remember years ago, someone told me I should take, caution when it comes to love, I did.   
> And you were strong and I was not, my illusion, my mistake, I was careless I forgot, I did.-

"Is Tommy coming?" Paddy asked with hope, as he took a weary seat at the oak dining room table in Brendan's kitchen. His knees were playing up something wicked lately and all he wanted to do was sit down and read the newspaper without all the commotion in the family room. 

"He'll be here pop" Brendan replied. 

Tess and Brendan were hosting a get together complete with a party food Buffett and lots of alcoholic beverages.   
They had invited Tess' parents but they had taken a last minute trip and couldn't make it. The house now consisted of work colleagues, Tess' mom friends, Brendan's gym buddies including Frank the trainer, a couple of neighbours, Paddy and then Holly who had come up for a long weekend to start the ball rolling with the move. Her transfer had been accepted and she started work in less than a month. 

Emily and Rosie skittered about with the other children, hiding under furniture and weaving between adult legs as the atmosphere grew more rowdy as time went on and the prosecco flowed more easily.   
Tess wasn't drinking and Holly noted it early on and pulled her to one side for a quiet word.

"Shall I get you a drink?" She asked her with a knowing look.   
Tess chuckled her reply  
"Nothing gets past you, huh?" She smiled at her little sister.

"I can't wait to have you here permanently, I can come with you to the estate agents tomorrow, we can make a day of it, go shopping too! for baby clothes" she whispered in addition. 

"Depends how much of that champagne I sink tonight" Holly laughed, I've been more than stressed lately. So have you seen much of Tommy?" She asked, changing the subject and feigning an innocent tone. 

"He really made an impression on you huh?..." Tess quizzed her.   
There was no use hiding it any longer when she had intentions with him that would hopefully reveal it in time. 

"Yeah, we um... Had a little thing the last time I was here." She said coyly. 

"Well i kind of figured. But since you were both so reluctant to let slip I left it alone. Holly you should be wary of him ya'know. I love him to pieces but he has a ton of problems right now."

Holly felt a pang of annoyance, she was a big girl.   
"We just got on, that's all. It was nice." She replied curtly.  
"Well I haven't seen him much since he moved out" Tess continued, "but before he did there were a few issues with some pills and him and Brendan had a few disagreements. I think he's drinking again too.." She trailed off. "I just thought you ought to know before you get yourself into anything. He should be here real soon, I'm sure he'll be happy to see you" she said as she rushed off to drag Rosie from climbing on the arm of the sofa. 

As she sat with champagne flute in hand, Holly pondered once again and decided it didn't change anything, she still wanted him in spite of his issues, in fact it made her more determined to help him and make him happy. As she thought about his smile, and how his eyes crinkled at the sides when he showed it, she saw him skulk into the room wearing a grey hoodie and dark trainers.   
His shoulders were hunched and his whole vibe looked pissed off. There were no eye crinkles and holly stared at him as their gazes met and he dragged his away, abruptly turning on his heel back into the kitchen. She felt a little gobsmacked at his hostility and her stomach dropped but she realised she probably deserved the shun after what she did. 

When he returned to the family room, his hood was down and he was holding a can of diet coke and shovelling potato chips into his mouth. He avoided her gaze completely, obviously looking everywhere but in her direction. She felt annoyed now, ok so she left without saying goodbye after an amazing week spent together and a drunken fumble, she didn't deserve to be ignored all day while he made a point of sulking about it. She noted that he looked thoroughly worn out, with dark circles under his eyes and a pasty complexion from the last time she saw him.   
She got up planning to wander over to him and confront him, but was stopped by Tess tapping a crystal glass with a spoon to get everyone's attention. She parked herself back down on the sofa arm as Brendan joined Tess, clearing his throat in the now nearly silent room. Tommy could be heard crunching his bag of chips and Holly smiled to herself at his bad manners. 

"Thanks for coming tonight people, we want you to consume as much food and alcohol as you can so we have less to clean up tomorrow" Brendan joked.   
"Tess and I wanted to get our loved ones together to announce some news, everyone in one place seemed the best way to do it" he put his hand on Tess' stomach, which suddenly seemed to protrude on sight, a warm glow radiating from her face.   
"Everyone here knows how we had a tough time a few years ago" he revealed. "With Rosie having the heart operation and the money troubles before my competition" he glanced at Tommy who was sulkily studying them.   
"Well now everything is good and settled and we want you to know that we're expecting a third baby" he confirmed as everyone around them erupted in cheers and calls of congratulations as people moved in to offer their praises. 

Holly glanced at Tommy again, as Rosie approached him and he changed his stand-offish demeanour for his small nieces benefit.

"Uncle Tommy, gesh what?" She asked him, starting again before he could answer her.   
"I get to be a big shishter" she said with a lisp. My mommy has a seed growing in her"   
Tommy chuckled at her remark before bending his head down to her level. 

"You're gonna make an awesome big sister Nosy Rosie" he said to her and she grinned at him before running off to play with her friends again.

After a couple of hours of stolen glances without approaching each other, the atmosphere was positively awkward and Tommy had retreated to the kitchen to avoid conversation with random people and sit with Paddy and Frank. As Holly entered the kitchen to grab some food on a paper plate, she stood with her back against the work top and looked directly at him whilst shovelling a sausage roll into her mouth. He looked right back at her but dropped his eyes quickly, chewing on a toothpick and rolling it from one side of his mouth to the other.   
She knew he was mad at her, but she willed him to just show her some attention. Before she knew it, one of Tess' nurse friends had roped her into a conversation about the hospital and she was having to reveal boring technicalities about healthcare contracts of employment, underpayment and shift patterns. 

Shortly after, as she downed more of the fizzy stuff, she saw Tommy get up to leave and pat his dad on the back.   
"I'm out pop" he said and she was relieved to finally hear his voice but her adrenaline spiked at the fact he was just gonna leave without them having spoke. He didn't look back at her as he pulled up his hood and walked out of the room.   
Holly slammed her flute down harder than intended on the work top and hurried after him. Paddy frowned at her on her way out but she was done being subtle.  
He was already out of the door and hurrying down the driveway before she caught up with him. It was cold and her breath formed a mist as she called after him. 

"Tommy!!"   
He darted round, his hands in his pockets and the toothpick still settled between his full lips, his face expressionless.   
"Yeah?" He asked, and he was acting like he couldn't possibly know what she wanted and she was tired of the brooding act. 

"You were just gonna leave? Without saying anything?" She asked, the hurt obvious in her voice.   
"Well yeah, I mean that's what we do ainnit? We just leave without saying goodbye." He answered with a cut throat tone.   
She supposed that was called for so she let his rudeness slide. 

"Tommy I'm sorry, I am. It was a spur of the moment thing, I had to leave and you weren't around.."

"Back to the boyfriend, where is he anyways? He with your friend?" Tommy asked, and he felt the anger as it radiated from his remark. 

"You know what Tommy, I felt bad but now you can go to hell." She said, turning on her heel to head back up the drive. What an asshole! 

He grabbed hold of her arm before she could get far, turning her around, he knew when it had come out of his mouth it was a knife she didn't deserve, he realised the whole thing didn't warrant his misplaced venom. 

"Holly, I'm sorry, shit I'm sorry" he said struggling against her as she tried to pull her arm from his grip.  
"Hear me out" he said desperately. "Fuck".   
She stalled, squinting into his face wondering where the level of his resentment came from. 

He decided the only way to make up for it was to lay it all out on the table, he was past caring about rejections.

"That week did something to me okay? It made me feel the best I have done in a while! The night before you left got me goin' so good you have no idea what it did. You left your mark and then you split... Without even telling me." She listened, her heart beating hard at his revelations, glancing back at the house to make sure no one was nearby to hear them. 

"Then I hear you're back with that prick and I think to myself you just did it to get your own back on the guy so you felt better before you took his cheating ass back! I'm fuckin annoyed at the whole thing Hols, I don't wanna be a pawn in anyone's game..." He finished, quieter now. 

She sighed at the ironic nature of it all. The miscommunication. 

"Tommy look. I left without saying goodbye because I was scared of my feelings. It had only been a week of knowing you again and my feelings felt out of place. I was in a mess from being cheated on and I didn't want to let any walls down so I ran away. Haven't you ever run away Tommy?" She asked knowing full well that he had.   
He looked dazed as he thought about it, He had spent his whole life running away. Running away from paddy, running away from his unit. And He was sick of running.   
He lunged forward at her on the cold dark driveway, pulling her into the embrace of his big arms and grabbing her face with his rough hands.   
He stilled for a second and searched her face, meeting her blue eyes with his intense green ones before mashing his lips onto hers hungrily. He kissed her with a passion she had never felt, his heat warming more than just her body. After the shock of his actions subsided, she wrapped her arms around his neck, leaning into him and kissing him back, slipping her tongue into his mouth as their breath mingled. He dropped his grip and put his hands on her ass, pulling her into him so they met by their groins. 

After a moment, he pulled away, dizzy from his own lust, relieved to have finally let his walls down and kissed her the way he had needed to for weeks.

"Holly, y'know this passion isn't gonna heal either of us.. It could make things worse, my life is..... I'M very complicated, it could be a recipe for disaster if we make a go of things" 

"Or it could be everything we've ever wanted" she replied, reaching up to kiss his lips again as his eyes crinkled into his smile.


	9. Sexual Healing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -I've been goin half crazy for your love, and I was told that the sex is better than drugs. Then get addicted, boy listen, I'm the only piece of the puzzle you're missin. Like when we kissin, bye bye bye. You got a girl that will ride ride ride.  
> So take me tonight, and do what you do to me baby.-

Heading back into the party, they held hands like it wasn't completely out of the blue. Brendan raised his eyebrows as they entered the kitchen sheepishly, their hands entwined and their cheeks flushed. Holly felt like the entire room were aware of their passionate tryst that just took place on the driveway. It wouldn't surprise her if Tess had been at the window armed with binoculars.  
Tommy let go of her hand, the sudden attention an unwelcome intrusion he wasn't ready for and went over to the buffet to grab more potato chips, cutting the atmosphere with his crunching noises. Little Emily entered at this point and saved the day with a rendition of Witney Houston's "I will always love you" After the laughter and fake praise in the kitchen, she was then ushered to bed by a wary looking Tess, eyeing Holly up as she left the room to settle all the children upstairs. 

As the party continued, more people vacated and the night wore on. Paddy had left early and Tess had made her excuses to the remaining guests and taken a well deserved bedtime. Holly was rather tipsy to say the least at this point, having drunk half the collection of prosecco on offer. As Brendan, Frank and Tommy sat in the family room watching late night boxing complete with dad-style commentary, she danced in the corner with Tess' nurse friend. 

Her stolen glances over at Tommy didn't go unnoticed by him, as he sat with a diet coke in his hand, relaxed against the very sofa they had fumbled on. He couldn't take his eyes off of her. Especially as she ground her hips to the R&B coming from the surround sound system, her figure hugging black dress riding up her thighs as she moved.  
She noticed him watching her and it spurred her on more than ever, a skinful of alcohol always gave her the worst type of over indulgent confidence and a serious case of the horn, as Tommy had discovered only last month. He tilted his head to the side to watch her, shuffling in his seat as he realised it was doing things to him that should really be kept in private. She knew what she was doing and she abruptly stopped, giving him a wink and whispering something in her new friend's ear about hitting the sack.  
She strolled out of the room then, unnoticed by the few people left at the party, especially not the men engrossed in the fight match on ESPN. Well, all but the one. 

He got up and stretched his arms innocently making a point of acting tired.  
"Gonna head out bro" he said to Brendan, who waved him off with a flick of his hand.  
"Yeah yeah yeah. Tomorrow Tommy, catch up tomorrow" he said without taking his eyes off the TV screen.  
Him and Frank erupted in roars as the referee disqualified the front runner. 

As he left the room he was dragged through the dark hallway by the scruff of his neck, his feet tripping over the shoes strewn on the entrance hall carpet. Holly pushed him hard against the wall there, her hands feeling in the dark for his chest muscles as she pushed her body against them. He felt her hot breath on his neck, and although the smell of alcohol was apparent on her, he knew this time he wasn't taking advantage and there was nothing either of them would regret come the morning.  
He pulled her in even closer, their lips meeting as he clasped his fingers together at the small of her back, kissing her mouth gently but with intent. The feeling in his groin was burning him, straining his steel-like erection against the roughness of his jeans. 

She giggled as she broke away,  
"wanna come to bed Conlon?" She slurred.  
"Fuck yeah" he managed, with a raspy undertone she hadn't heard before. He sounded positively dangerous. And it made her vagina flutter as she stumbled up the stairs, dragging him with her. 

They crept along the landing, her fragile fingers entwined with his rough masculine ones, she noted his palms were sweaty and realised he must be nervous, but he wasn't showing it.  
She was staying in his old room and he saw that she had made it overtly feminine in the short time she had set up camp. The sheets were ivory cotton, with floral pillowcases, and a bedside lamp she clicked on as she approached it, illuminated the area in a seductive orange glow, highlighting the girly trinkets on the small dresser. 

"Are you on somethin'?" He whispered, trying to keep quiet as the girls room was adjacent to the one they were in. She looked at him, confused.  
"I mean protection" he clarified, his cheeks flushing now.  
"Oh right. Yeah." She giggled. "Yeah I'm good, Tommy." She said as she pulled him down to sit on top of the duvet with her side by side. 

After an awkward pause as they began to run their hands over each other once more, he spoke in a low undertone just audible to her.  
"Can you be quiet while I touch you?" he whispered, tracing his calloused finger up her exposed thigh now, reaching underneath her black dress and taking a peek at her underwear. 

Her breath hitched in her throat, and she swallowed down her apprehension to give him an answer that was quick witted, but failed miserably as her adrenaline spiked which resulted in a mere head nod. She could feel her panties dampening at his deep and seductive growl, if he wasn't careful she would be coming before he even attempted to touch her anyway.

He pushed her gently backwards on the bed, laying her flat before removing his hoodie and laying down beside her. She realised she was holding her breath in anticipation, she had never wanted anything so desperately in her life, it felt like if she didn't get him now she could never breathe again.  
His hands wandered to the hem of her dress as he dragged it upwards over her body, exposing her underwear followed by her tight stomach. The goosebumps spread over her skin like wildfire, his touch felt electrifying and she didn't know it was possible for someone to do this to a person without actually stimulating them in erotic areas. 

She couldn't wait, the teasing was too much, so she sat up and struggled out of her own dress, exposing her breasts to him, having being void of a bra. He followed her lead and removed his grey t-shirt, the visible sweat patches another indication that he felt nervous as much as he did lustful. His eyes were glued to her pale pink nipples, as he lowered his head towards them and took one into his teeth, whilst fondling with his hands, cupping her other breast and moulding his palm against it. He tugged at one nipple, releasing it into a bounce as she willed him to move lower down.

Her breathing was heavy, and she ran her fingernails up and down the length of his back, scratching gently as he worked his lips on her tits, forming a soggy suction that seemed to take an electric current straight to her vagina. Her desire was burning, she could feel her arousal in her panties already, and as though he read her mind, his hands began to wander to the hem of them.  
Pulling his head from her chest he got off the bed and watched her, taking in her slim figure that boasted the most gorgeous curve of hips as he unbuckled the belt of his jeans. He had waited so long for this moment, he was already worrying that he might peak sooner than sexually acceptable, especially as she lay on a bed of her long brown waves, her lips bitten to the point of redness, her nipples erect and her body writhing gently in anticipation of him touching her once more.  
She was going to be the end of him. He already knew that. He hadn't felt like this in his entire life, never desired someone in this way, never wanted to penetrate someone forcefully hard at the same time as treating them with gentle precaution. As he took off his jeans and his socks, he realised he needed to make her cum for him first so that it wouldn't matter as much if he blew his load in seconds as he expected to.  
"Tommy hurry up" she moaned, pouting her lips at him, letting her hand wander to her nipple after licking the fingers that did. She felt like she wanted to be so naughty for him, that anything would be acceptable.  
When he was naked he climbed over her legs on the bed and sat on top of her ankles, he held her arms above her head with one of his own strong ones, whilst the other delicately dragged her underwear down her legs. Lifting off her slightly he tugged them from her ankles and pushed her thighs apart gently.  
Taking all of her in with a lick of his lips, he let go of her arms and began stroking a finger down the length of her, spreading the wetness around and locating the little bundle of pleasure that had her jerking as he brushed a finger against it. 

His fingers probed at her slick opening, as he knelt down on the bed between her thighs and held her open allowing his tongue to explore her.  
The feel of his warm and slippery mouth finally giving her stimulation, had her gasping and grinding herself into the mattress, her groin thrusting into his face.  
He made shushing noises into her folds as she let out an audible moan.

"Holly be quiet. No noise" he whispered with determined authority and she bit her lip against the pleasure as he returned to work on massaging her clitoris, rubbing it against his nose, and the small amount of bristle on his top lip. 

He wasn't the most experienced lover in the world, having avoided intimacy before now like the plague, but he knew how to respond to a woman's moans when he put his mouth on her.

Holly could feel the delicious ache building low in her cervix, rising with every flick of his tongue end down her inner lips, lashing against her clitoris before lowering to her waiting entrance. He was driving her wild, but she needed to be quiet because of the girls. The bed was already making squeaking noises and when it got louder as her movements quickened, Tommy held her down with one firm hand, pushing on her lower stomach.  
It was enough to tip her over the edge, the wave of absolute pleasure he gave her had her inner muscles contracting on two of his fingers as his tongue continued to lap like a hungry kitten having its very first taste of milk.  
He carried on thrusting through her climax, reaching up to the knuckle and curving his fingers inside her as she began to slow down, his own arousal forgotten as he concentrated on giving the angel beneath him as much pleasure as he could. 

"Fuck Tommy!" She said quietly "that was out of this..." 

"Shhhhh" he cut in, as he wiped his face on his tatted forearm and pulled back the duvet, motioning for her to get inside.  
She climbed in eagerly, they were both frantic to connect in a sexual way like they had been emotionally for weeks. As he positioned himself between her thighs he wet the tip of his cock end with her recent orgasm, watching in the dim lighting as the head of his penis entered her folds. She groaned so loudly at the feel of him that his involuntary reaction was to pull it back out. She moaned again at the sudden emptiness, and he placed a hand delicately over her mouth, pressing down to drown out her sounds as he guided himself back inside her body.

Holly felt burning pleasure tinged with pain at the size of him. She should have known he would be well endowed what with everything about him larger than life, but the surprise at the girth left her feeling violated in a sickly pleasurable way. He filled her so tightly she felt overwhelmed but welcomed the feeling all the same. 

He thrust gently in her at first, until they both became accustomed to the feeling and as he quickened his pace, driving himself deeper into her tissues, the bed rattled against the wall and squeaked like a mouse caught in a trap. He stopped in his tracks, as he heard one of the girls coughing in the next room. 

Holly stifled a giggle as Tommy held himself up on his forearms, his cock throbbing inside her, sweat forming on his shaggy hairline. She pulled him down to her mouth and slipped her tongue into his, ruffling the hair behind his ears and cupping his jawline affectionately. She thrust her groin upwards giving just the tiniest amount of friction between them and she felt him jerk inside her, a sweet soreness becoming apparent from the sting of his girth.  
"Maybe this is a sign that we shouldn't... Do this yet" Tommy whispered, "It's killing me, I wanna take you to mine and do the job right, not restrained like this" he said, his hot breath against her face as he pulled out of her and collapsed onto his back. 

"So I'm a job now am I?" Holly mocked him, delighting in the fact she had Tommy Conlon naked and spent at the side of her. He smirked.

"I don't think so Conlon, get on that floor. Now" she ordered him. He raised his eyebrows, shocked but impressed at her dedication and obvious need for him. It felt good that she wanted him so badly because he was scared of her rejection more than anything right now. 

She got up and pulled him with her by his hands, he played a dead weight letting her drag him so she let go abruptly causing him to fall backwards again. He laughed a girlish giggle and those crinkles appeared by his eyes that she loved. Yeah loved.  
When he got up he stood there awkwardly so she looked up into his face, reaching out a hand to fondle and cup at his ball sack. He gasped out loud as she dropped to her knees in front of him, taking the swollen pink head of his cock into her mouth and forming a seal.  
She moved her lips over him, running her tongue tip on the underside of his penis head, making him jerk and grab out for her hair. He clenched it in his fists so he could see her face as she made a popping sound from releasing him, before taking more than ever down the back of her throat.  
He felt the warm softness at the back, and the tight seal she formed so well around his shaft, her saliva lubricating him so she moved easily up and down his length. Fuck was she good at this. And he felt a flicker of annoyance as he realised she must've had the practice to be so.  
It was gone when she left him, the cold air of the room compared to her hot mouth, giving him the chills and inducing a shudder. 

"Get on the floor then" she said authoritatively like it was the most obvious thing in the world that he should be doing.  
He wasn't drunk, and had he of been he might not have found it so intense. No one had ever made him feel sexually insecure, he knew he was well endowed and knew the basics well even if he hadn't experimented on a sexual front. He was basically at the mercy of this brunette minx, getting ordered around and hell he was going to enjoy it. 

He crouched down whilst keeping his eyes on her, the unflattering angle as he squatted obvious to him even if she looked positively delighted, and he sat down on his behind on the soft cream pile.  
Holly lowered herself down onto his lap like she was sitting on a chair, positioning a leg at either side of him and came forward onto her knees. She pushed her slick pussy down onto his crotch and gyrated slightly, keeping him sat up straight on the floor as she started to kiss at his neck, licking and nibbling at him. He groaned quietly, never wanting the moment to end, feeling the seeping liquid from her arousal on his balls.  
She finally raised herself up and took hold of his shaft, positioning it against her opening and gently bearing down on it.  
He had never felt pleasure like it, and she gasped as she adjusted to him in this position, his grunts spurring her further down his length until their bodies met completely. She rocked on him, and he held her hips as she did it, kissing the tip of her nose and her cheeks and her mouth.  
"Fuck.... Tommy" she whispered desperately.  
" I know. I know....." He said as he held her bare chest against his, thrusting upwards in time with her movements, creating a pace that was slow and intense.  
She eventually pushed him backwards, adjusting her position on his lap, her hand reaching to rest on his six pack as she started to fuck him.  
She rode him like she was trying to win a race at Ascot, but there was nothing of an English lady about her as he gripped onto her hip bones to steady her.  
It took all the willpower of the both of them not to moan loudly and express their pleasure but the heavy breathing, gasping and odd groan was possibly even more expressive in the moment. It felt naughtier than it was because they could get caught.

After a few short minutes, Hollu couldn't hang on any longer "Tommy.... Ahhh. I need to... Need to cum" she whispered, her voice sounding hoarse even in its low tone. 

"Me too" he grunted feeling relieved he had lasted this long, and forcing her hips to move faster, his fingers digging in now having lost the restraint and delicacy of when he first touched her.  
She contracted on his punishing pace as he fucked upwards, moving her on himself effortlessly, sweat covering his chest and forehead making him shiny and flushed.  
And it tipped him over. He spurted inside her violently, unable to contain the loud volume of his groans as she held onto his shoulders and rode hers out with her eyes closed. He watched her face contorting in pure pleasure and it made his semen gush inside her with a power that almost pained him. 

As their breathing slowed down... So did their pace until Holly lifted off of him, the result of their act spread widely over his pubic hair.  
She smirked as she looked at him, utterly exhausted beneath her. 

"I thought you were fit? You ok?" She asked him sarcastically, her own heart beating from her chest.

"FUCK ME" he answered her pinching the bridge of his nose, his throat feeling dry, his brain foggy like he had just had a hit of drugs.

"I thought I just did" Holly giggled and his eyes crinkled.


	10. Jigsaw

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -I knew I loved you then, but you'd never know, cos i played it cool when i, was scared of letting go  
> I knew I needed you, but I never showed, I wanna stay with you until we're grey and old -

Tommy had never had morning sex before. But as he pushed his cock inside her body and heard her gasp, feeling her tighten up around him, he realised what the fuss was about. It felt another level of intense, seriously sensual, and more erotic than any sex he had ever had. The smell of last night's activities still hung in the air and off their bodies, the pre shower rendovoux feeling dirty and seedy in the best possible way, right in that moment, with someone he cared about. He wanted her to like it, he wanted her to feel good and to want him badly like he wanted her. He wanted her to come apart because of him and what he was doing to her. 

It was so different to the lewd acts of his past where he would instead block out the face beneath him and chase his own orgasm so he could get the hell out of there. And fast.

As he began to fuck into her, his weight pressing down from his hips, The winter sun illuminated her face, and her bright blue eyes looked up into his through hooded lids as she tugged on his damp hair. She started running her hands through it as he continued to thrust in her, keeping his eyes on hers, each meeting of their bodies sending searing pleasure to his groin and making him flicker his own eyes shut every time the smack of his balls confirmed he had hit the end of her. 

"Harder Tommy" ... She groaned at him desperately, digging her finger nails into the flesh of his broad back, the pricking pain spurring him on as he pushed both of her thighs higher beneath him and held them there with sturdy hands to allow him the access to fuck her better. The bed creaked and banged loudly with the motion, but as the sound of the family an hour earlier had alerted them, they were alone as the Conlon's had departed for church mass.

Tommy prayed to the Lord right now, when Holly pulled on his ass, her legs in the air, and met his thrusts, their sex noises filling the room as all reservations got lost in the moment.   
As she came loudly on his length, he had an overwhelming urge to taste her need for him, so acting on impulse he removed himself from her and dived down beneath the covers to bury his soft mouth into the spasms of her release, sucking on the bundle of nerves and making her cry out with her desire as the suction made her orgasm almost too intense to bare. 

When she slowed, still writhing, he removed the duvet so he could see her in all her naked glory, her legs still spread beneath him, and he slapped the head of his cock against her slippy entrance, pushing in his tip, before removing it as he came quickly and with quiet force on her stomach, spattering his liquid need over her. His head was spinning as he held himself in his hand, emptying the last drops as she smiled innocently and contentedly up at him. He felt his chest tug inside him, And in that moment he realised that the something missing from his life was this. It was her.

What was this feeling? He hadn't ever felt it, a hot desire and a fierce need to protect. He felt like an emotional woman and he managed to clear his throat in a masculine way to remind him of his own voice, But it was true, she was his missing jigsaw piece.

He had sought highs his whole life.. Adrenaline rushes, the sickly performance nerves, drug and alcohol trips, but nothing had ever compared to the feeling he had when he was inside this woman. His woman. That's what she had to be now, there was no doubt, his previous commitment issues seeming laughable as he crawled on her once more and lay his head down on her damp chest, sticky with the perspiration of their combined activity and realising he needed this rush every moment he could get it. 

"Fuck" he managed.

"You swear a lot conlon" 

"Il swear something to you now" he said, seriously.   
And he propped himself up on his elbow, moving himself off of her body onto the empty bed space at the side of her.   
"That im gon' make you cum like that, every morning that we wake up together. So let's make sure I wake up to you as much as I can from now on, yeah?" he whispered in her ear. She pulled him closer to her.  
"If you want me to" he added huskily, His lips and teeth brushing against her lobe and sending prickly goosebumps in a river across her skin. She felt on fire.

She giggled girlishly, and innocently, and as he growled at her demanding an answer, she felt his hands began to wander yet again.....

 

*************************

The girls ran through the kitchen and jumped straight onto their uncles lap as he sat shirtless at the table with his coffee.

"Uncle Tommy Uncle Tommy, do you live here again?" Squeaked Rosie as he bounced her on his knee. 

"No baby, no I don't"   
"Awwwww" she said sulkily. His eyes crinkled at the sides and Holly smiled to herself at the sight of it.

Brendan trudged in behind them, dumping his Audi keys on the kitchen worktop. He looked down at Tommy, then darted his gaze to Holly at the other side of the table, still in her night clothes.

"Well well well. If I ever saw Tommy with a lady friend, I wouldn't have expected it to be you" he said to Holly, shaking his head in Tommy's direction. As the girls ran off to find their mum, he turned to Tommy. 

"You do realise if you hurt her then Tess will eat your balls for breakfast." he said, his disapproving look fading into a cheesy grin as Tommy shifted on his chair uncomfortably.   
"It's good to see you with a smile on your face" he finished. "Both of you".

"I ain't here to hurt anyone man" Tommy grumbled, staring down into his coffee and swirling it around in its mug. Brendan had subconsciously touched a nerve. He was scared to death of hurting her. He didn't know if he was capable of sticking around yet, and he wasn't entirely sure he was what was best for her. He brought people down to the gutter he was used to being in. He was scared.

"What's for breakfast guys?!" Tess bellowed as she entered the kitchen hand in hand with the girls. 

The laughter rung out around them as Tommy's balls shrunk up inside his body at the mere mention of breakfast from Tess' mouth. He had to laugh along, his resolve melting at the sight of Hollie holding her tummy as she laughed hard at the irony. Her laughed warmed him in all sorts of places.

Half an hour later as the leftover bacon sandwiches were being cleared and the plates washed by Holly and Tess, Tommy went upstairs to get dressed and head on to the gym. He was back training for another upcoming tournament. As he got dressed he reached into his pocket for his packet of pills, hesitating before taking them as he always did in a morning, to get him through the day.   
He jumped as Holly entered her make-shift bedroom and covered his eyes from behind. 

"Guess who?" She joked. He swiftly slunk the packet back into his hoodie pocket and turned, picking her up off the floor and grabbing her slim thighs to curl them around his waist. She squealed in fake protest as he did it, wrapping her arms around his thick neck and stroking his face. 

"Is it the girl who blew my mind last night?" He said, between her short Sharp kisses to his mouth.   
"Yeah Conlon, You bet" she replied, slipping in her tongue to the sounds of his groans as her back hit the bedroom wall and he pinned her there. She could feel his growing hardness against her. 

"Can I take you on a date tonight?" He asked her, his weight crushing her to the wall in a gentle but overpowering way. 

"I wouldn't dare say no in this position" she laughed. So he released her legs letting her sink down the wall, her feet quickly coming into contact with the ground.   
"How about now?" He asked, his hands leaning on the wall at either side of her head. 

"Pick me up at 8" she answered seductively as she ducked under his arm and left him standing there, his erection tenting his grey sweats and his heart beating in his chest.


	11. Trucks&Baggage

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Then you smiled over your shoulder  
> For a minute I was stone cold sober  
> I pulled you closer to my chest  
> And you asked me to stay over  
> I said, I already told you  
> I think that you should get some rest

That night, Tess helped Holly to curl her hair, and to put down her wine glass so she didn't get past the stage of Dutch courage and onto plain old wasted. 

"It's a good sign that I'm nervous right?" She asked her older sister, wringing her fingers in her lap, her newly tousled brown waves falling down her back. 

"Yeah.. I guess" chuckled Tess.   
"I can't believe my little sister is going on a date with Tommy Conlon though, of all people I'm still not so sure he's the right one to move onto after Matthew, ya'know? I'm just looking out for you" she added as Holly did the obligatory eye roll in her direction. "It could get messy for all of us if he fucks you around".

"I'm a big girl Tess, believe me. I ain't about to let him treat me any way but how he's supposed to. I know my worth now. But he's been great, he really has" she explained to her. 

"Just how much have you experienced?" Tess chuckled.. "Did you give it away already last night?" She said in her patronising mom tone. 

"Maybe I took what I needed" she laughed back, "a girl has needs!" They both laughed and Holly knocked back another swig of red. 

"HOLLLY" Brendan belted up the stairs suddenly. "Your knight in shining armour awaits" she rolled her eyes again. Maybe they should've kept whatever was happening between them a secret from Tess and Brendan for now. She felt like it was being played out like a cringey budget soap opera. 

"Should I expect you home tonight?" Tess asked, eyeing her chastisingly as they exited the bedroom. 

"Probably not if I get my wicked way" Holly laughed, following Tess down the stairs.

"Well make sure you wrap it up, huh? .. Or you'll end up like this with none of that wine for nearly a year!" she said as she turned around and pointed to her rounded stomach and then down her throat in a gesture of mock illness. 

As the women entered the living room, Tommy got up from the arm of the sofa in way of greeting. 

"Hey" he managed, a stunned look on his face as he took in a made-up-to-the-nines Holly, for the first time. He thought she couldn't look more beautiful than she had previously, but here he was, being swept further out to sea on a wave of admiration by her presence.   
She had a long black dress on, low cut with a scalloped neckline that pulled her in at the waist. He contemplated telling her they shouldn't bother with the date and should just go back to his so he could fuck her senseless in it, but he knew that would come later and she deserved her moment to be wined and dined. Plus he was happy just to talk to her for a while now, to absorb as much of her as he could get. 

Holly took in the man in front of her as he opened the passenger door of his truck to let her in. He had a navy round collar sweater on with dark jeans and brown slips on his large feet. She could smell his divine cologne as she climbed past him into the beaten up vehicle and she suddenly hoped his apartment was kept cleaner than the contents of the truck. She had to move food cartons and cigarette packets out of the way just to sit down. She hadn't even realised he smoked. But then again he always chewed gum or had that cinnamon flavoured tooth pick in his gorgeous mouth. She realised once again, she didn't know this man much in reality, there was a lot she needed to find out. They had already fallen into an unspoken agreement that this was leading somewhere, hadn't she better be more sure of what she was letting herself in for with this man.

She knew parts that could cause tension already, the fighting, the strict diets and god forsaken hours she knew he spent in the gym, not to mention the supposed pill problem Tess had touched on. That led onto his alcohol addictions, she didn't know if that was still a problem or how big of one it had been in the past, Because in her experience she already knew he displayed great difficulty in opening up emotionally and letting people in, letting people know him.

Why were there no ex girlfriends? Or were there? What would her parents say about the past prison stint? Or his brutal career choice?

A million things whirred in her head as he jumped into the driver's seat at the side of her and squeezed her thigh in an affectionate manner as he started up the noisy engine of his pick -up truck. 

She realised she had jumped head first into a situation with a man who had a war-zone inside his head and a ton of baggage on his back. As if her own weren't a big enough burden to carry. The big question she had to ask herself was if she was ready to take his gun fire and swap it for his peace. As she looked at him, eyes on the road, she reached over and held his hand on top of the gearstick. The same eyes crinkled in that endearing way and she knew in that moment that she was ready. He was worth it.


End file.
